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Careers at &milo

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Welcome to the &milo Careers Portal. We are a fully remote, on-chain organization currently hiring 5,000 Professional Sleepers. The role is simple: you sleep, and we handle the rest — quietly, and while you're unconscious. No experience necessary. No meetings, ever. Please review the position details below and complete Form HR-33 to apply.

NEW!

NOW HIRING — 5,000 positions — apply in your sleep! candidate #0114 — HIRED. slept through the interview. candidate #1259 — HIRED. applied via cat. cat got a signing bonus. candidate #0007 — HIRED. slept through the opening bell. candidate #0451 — PROMOTED. has not woken since onboarding. orientation 07.27 · 16:00 UTC · dress code: pajamas

Position Details Form HR-33 · rev. B

We are looking for someone who does nothing, reliably.

Job Title	Professional Sleeperfull-time · 5,000 openings · remote (your bed)
Responsibilities	Sleep eight hours. Do not check the charts.Checking the charts is the leading cause of checking the charts.
Requirements	None. We will train you, but the training is also a nap.Owning multiple alarm clocks will be treated as a red flag and escalated to §33.
Nice to Have	A bed. A pillow. The demonstrated ability to leave a group chat on read for eleven hours.
Benefits	Unlimited PTO — technically, all of your time is off.Dental not included; you will be asleep and cannot chew.
Growth Path	Sleeper → Senior Sleeper → Principal Sleeper → Legend.Deceased colleagues remain on payroll. This is a benefit.
Compensation	Disclosed at orientation — 07.27, 16:00 UTC. Paid to your SOL wallet while you sleep.Attendance mandatory. Alarm clocks prohibited. You'll be woken exactly once.

Employee Handbook confidential · do not distribute

Someone leaked two pages of the handbook overnight. HR is furious. HR is also hiring. It's complicated. We will not confirm they are real. We will not confirm we have an office.

confidential

&milo — employee handbookrev. §33

§3. Employees may hold up to seven concurrent positions. Moonlighting within the company is encouraged. Sleeping through all seven is a promotion.

§12. The company observes the opening bell. Employees do not. Employees observe the inside of their eyelids.

§19. Access to the locked floor requires no key. It requires a connection. Do not ask which floor. There is only the one.

§27. The office fits in your pocket. Remote-work policy: there is no office.

§33. Your Manager is always available and never visible. He will address you at orientation. Out loud.

Orientation: 07.27 — 16:00 UTC. Attendance mandatory. Alarm clocks prohibited.

A note from Payroll: anything sold to you "as milo" today is a scam. If that ever changes, you'll read it on @MiloOnChains first. HR will never DM you.

Application · Form HR-33 processing time: while you nap

Application Form

Fields marked * are required. The interview is rigorous. Try to sleep through it.

Full name * (as it appears on your pillow)

X account * (we will not DM you. we will simply know.)

SOL wallet * (for the compensation you will sleep through)

Years of sleep experience

Can you start tonight?

Yes Yes, but after one more episode

I understand I will not be woken for updates, alerts, dips, rips, all-time highs, all-time lows, or breaking news. Especially breaking news.

Proof of sleep (optional — earns you points. points are not real. neither is HR.)

no file attached

By applying you agree to rest. HR will never DM you. The cat got the job on merit.

Proof of Sleep reviewed silently, while you sleep

Attach evidence of qualification: you at your desk, you on the train, your dog (pets may apply on your behalf — see candidate #1259). The strongest portfolios are horizontal.

📎 Attach your sleeping photo

jpg / png / gif · generates your official &milo personnel badge — then share it

&milo personnelclr §33

z z zhired

candidate #0007

slept through the opening bell. and the closing one.

milo · 0007 · §33

&milo personnelclr §12

z zpromoted

candidate #0114

asleep at the desk by 2pm. promoted at 2:04.

milo · 0114 · §12

&milo personnelclr §3

zretained

candidate #1259 · +1 feline

applied via cat. cat out-performed him.

milo · 1259 · §3

&milo personnelclr §19

z z zhired

candidate #0333

résumé said "zzz". we respect brevity.

milo · 0333 · §19

&milo personnelclr §27

z zhired

candidate #0891

did not apply. found napping. offered anyway.

milo · 0891 · §27

&milo personnelclr §33

zunder review

candidate #2048

asleep on a video call. camera on. mic on.

milo · 2048 · §33

Dreamland Guestbook sign before you doze off

Leave a note for your Manager and your 5,000 future colleagues. All entries reviewed while you sleep.

sleepymaxi_2009 · 3 hrs ago, from a hammock

applied at 2am, was hired by 2:01, promoted by 2:02. never checked the charts again. 10/10.

notfinancialadvice · yesterday, mid-nap

best job i've ever had. i do not know what the company does. i have never been happier.

the_cat_from_1259 · last week

meow. (translation: signing bonus received. sleeping on it. literally.)

Orientation Countdown 07.27 · 16:00 UTC

Your Manager will address all new hires personally. Attendance mandatory. Dress code: pajamas.

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alarm clocks prohibited · you will be woken exactly once